So after the NIN concert I have been recovering from the surgery, but still pushing my self. I went back to working out and now I just have to get in to the habit of doing the three to four days a week thing, but I have goals. I also went to see He Is Legend in concert with the D, and it was a really good show, the opening band Fall of Troy was attacked by the Greeks and couldn't make it so they canceled. The other bands whose names have slipped my mind for the moment were so-so, basically it came down to I was glad to see them and now that I have I don't ever have to see them again. The band right before He Is Legend had a bit of technical problems so they ended up talking for the better part of their set, D and I were ok with this, but the scenester kids that made me feel so damn old were displeased with the lack of rocking. I was still waiting for the rock to start, but then HIL came on and the rock was upon us and I must say they sound better on disk but were still able to put on one damn fine show.
I talked to the doctor and he was concerned with my sugar count so today I went to see him to get more blood drawn (over the last month or so it seems like I've given enough blood to create my own little human) so we can say with all kinds of confidence that I am not a diabetic, because I really don't want to be. We also discussed the fact that the good old brain and I have been getting in to arguments about things, so we agreed to try a test 60 days on a medication to help with my anxiety attacks along with everything else. Basically things have been bad for me and my brain and I want them to be ok again, I do my best to function in society, but if it wasn't for work I don't think I would be leaving the house, if I can get out of the house for the job then every now and then I can leave the house for other things. But that reasoning is getting harder and harder to convince me, so this test trial that will be lasting two months should have a few different effects, one being my mental process slowing down just enough to stabilize my mood and emotions which should relax the anxiety. It's a low enough dose that it should slow down my higher brain functions but that is a possibility, I just hope it doesn't happen.
Second I won't be able to drink any alcohol while I'm on said "medication", now I would like to say that I don't drink all that much, but the last few weeks I have drinking more then I normal have, but it shouldn't be that big of a deal to cut out my drinking. I just think it's funny that over the last month I have quit smoking, started working out again, moved, saw NIN and He Is Legend, had my appendix removed, and now I can't drink. But hey I should be somewhat normal after all this, at least I hope there is a change for the better and not for the worse again. I would hate to have the same reaction I had the last time I was on a "mood stabilizer", I hope that I have learned enough about my body and brain that I can see the warning signs or recognize when I'm falling in to that zombie pit I have crawled out of over the last 6 years.
Anyway SPOON out
"It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
When it doesn't mean anything
You can take anything
So selfless, cold and composed"
I talked to the doctor and he was concerned with my sugar count so today I went to see him to get more blood drawn (over the last month or so it seems like I've given enough blood to create my own little human) so we can say with all kinds of confidence that I am not a diabetic, because I really don't want to be. We also discussed the fact that the good old brain and I have been getting in to arguments about things, so we agreed to try a test 60 days on a medication to help with my anxiety attacks along with everything else. Basically things have been bad for me and my brain and I want them to be ok again, I do my best to function in society, but if it wasn't for work I don't think I would be leaving the house, if I can get out of the house for the job then every now and then I can leave the house for other things. But that reasoning is getting harder and harder to convince me, so this test trial that will be lasting two months should have a few different effects, one being my mental process slowing down just enough to stabilize my mood and emotions which should relax the anxiety. It's a low enough dose that it should slow down my higher brain functions but that is a possibility, I just hope it doesn't happen.
Second I won't be able to drink any alcohol while I'm on said "medication", now I would like to say that I don't drink all that much, but the last few weeks I have drinking more then I normal have, but it shouldn't be that big of a deal to cut out my drinking. I just think it's funny that over the last month I have quit smoking, started working out again, moved, saw NIN and He Is Legend, had my appendix removed, and now I can't drink. But hey I should be somewhat normal after all this, at least I hope there is a change for the better and not for the worse again. I would hate to have the same reaction I had the last time I was on a "mood stabilizer", I hope that I have learned enough about my body and brain that I can see the warning signs or recognize when I'm falling in to that zombie pit I have crawled out of over the last 6 years.
Anyway SPOON out
"It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
When it doesn't mean anything
You can take anything
So selfless, cold and composed"