I read some of Hunter S. Thompson's The Rum Diary last night. He always makes me feel that I have been wasting my life...like I should have been out drinking on somewhere in the Caribbean. And let me tell you, Maine in October is a LONG way from the Caribbean!
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the ex-girl situation is looking bleak, i ran into her a few days ago out at the bookstore (she was at the checkout) and i stood outside while she finished checking out, hoping she'd at least say hi... but she walked right past me without saying a word.
the friend situation is hopeless... i keep making plans with this one couple, who were both somewhat my friends... and they keep cancelling on me... they cancelled "football night" last night... and they didn't even bother to call me... i ended up calling them at 7:30 and they were like "oh, we decided not to go... maybe next week." so i sat here alone.
i've been sitting on sg too much, though... i need to get out and get a little more productive... i have tons of little stuff to do, but i never feel like going out alone to do it...
yeah, the letter thing is tough... i've written a bunch of stuff that i don't think i'll ever give her... but, i just want to know what exactly she was thinking... hmmm...
and, yeah... running into her in the bookstore was hard... i kept thinking about driving into oncoming traffic on the way home... but, decided against it, because she probably would have liked to hear that i was dead... blah.
i'm not really suicidal... don't worry about that....