Out of it.
How I feel lately. Whether I am clumsly hurting myself, accidently clicking the wrong web link (such bookmark instead of friend request or accidentally deleting content off my site or opening the wrong Maya file or wrong text file).
I really think it just the time of year. Holidays used to depress me for some reason in the past. I don't hate them. Nothing bad ever happened during them. I don't know...I just kinda figured it was some sort time thing. Except last year when my internship ended...I was depressed then because I loved going there. It was a fun enviroment and the people I worked with there were great. Shame it ended...and shame the the film hadn't come out. I should email just to see if I can find out the progress of it.
I am not depressed this year, but at the same time, I find myself short tempered and frustrated a lot. I think the whole unemployed animator title is getting to me. Well, that and the fact I have that fancy degree that is supposed to get me ahead in life and yet all I can get with it was a job that pays about 15,000 a year with no advancement, poor benefits, and treats me like shit. But the fact I find myself putting a fist to the wall or a cart at times probably doesn't make it healthier. I wonder if I am actually heading to a breakdown?
If I can make the move out west, maybe things would be improve on the hunt and all that. Won't know until I take the risk. I just hope I can get some way to get out there animating again. Maya 6 is getting really buggy on my PC as of late and think I really just need to replace the damn thing soon (which if I want to move can be detrimental to my plans).
The good news of recently is that my cough (diagnosed as bronchitius or however you spell it) is on the way out. However, the doctor's office revealed something not too pleasant. I, at the age of 23, have high blood pressure.
Great, huh?
Well, the new year is coming. Big fucking deal though. The years don't ever seem to improve. Whatever this streak of shitty years is, it has to get better at some point. At least I hope.
Ugh...I hate feeling like an fucking emo loser.
How I feel lately. Whether I am clumsly hurting myself, accidently clicking the wrong web link (such bookmark instead of friend request or accidentally deleting content off my site or opening the wrong Maya file or wrong text file).
I really think it just the time of year. Holidays used to depress me for some reason in the past. I don't hate them. Nothing bad ever happened during them. I don't know...I just kinda figured it was some sort time thing. Except last year when my internship ended...I was depressed then because I loved going there. It was a fun enviroment and the people I worked with there were great. Shame it ended...and shame the the film hadn't come out. I should email just to see if I can find out the progress of it.
I am not depressed this year, but at the same time, I find myself short tempered and frustrated a lot. I think the whole unemployed animator title is getting to me. Well, that and the fact I have that fancy degree that is supposed to get me ahead in life and yet all I can get with it was a job that pays about 15,000 a year with no advancement, poor benefits, and treats me like shit. But the fact I find myself putting a fist to the wall or a cart at times probably doesn't make it healthier. I wonder if I am actually heading to a breakdown?
If I can make the move out west, maybe things would be improve on the hunt and all that. Won't know until I take the risk. I just hope I can get some way to get out there animating again. Maya 6 is getting really buggy on my PC as of late and think I really just need to replace the damn thing soon (which if I want to move can be detrimental to my plans).
The good news of recently is that my cough (diagnosed as bronchitius or however you spell it) is on the way out. However, the doctor's office revealed something not too pleasant. I, at the age of 23, have high blood pressure.
Great, huh?
Well, the new year is coming. Big fucking deal though. The years don't ever seem to improve. Whatever this streak of shitty years is, it has to get better at some point. At least I hope.
Ugh...I hate feeling like an fucking emo loser.
I say: If you have few commitments here, and you have the resources to do it - take the plunge and move out west. The worst that happens is you live in the most beautiful place in the world, still working a crappy job. But at least you took a shot. It doesn't have to be an all at once, pack the car and leave tomorrow kind of thing. I'm a huge "planner" - so start small: pick up a few books, do some online research, talk to a few people. It might be that just even taking steps towards being in motion will help your mood. Being proactive is pretty easy - just small steps every day.
all your problems are rooted in the fact that you have a PC!