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runelateralus

Orland Park IL

Member Since 2002

Followers 141 Following 151

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Wednesday Dec 21, 2005

Dec 21, 2005
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I have been extremely busy lately. Really really busy. So busy, I haven't had time to animate, draw, or play video games.

And because I haven't done those activities, I get to think about more of the reality that is around me instead of the fantasy that could occur in the future. And fuck...am I miserable.

I never felt so drained and felt so filled with emptiness until late. Maybe it is just this month (seriously, this is the worst month I have had all fucking year...in fact, for the past 10 years of my life), but nothing seems right at this point. I really don't like where I am at in my life right now. I hate being in this area. I hate the two jobs I am being underpaid to do. I hate the lonliness I experience everyday (hearing my friends' happiness with love doesn't help out either), and I hate where my life seems to be going.

And the worst thing is....it doesn't seem I can change it. I don't have the money to just move to west coast and try for better animation/modelling oppurtunities.

*sigh*

At least getting off my chest makes me feel somewhat better. Though it is a very small somewhat. I do know that things can get better...but maybe because of the rotten time I have be having, I am having a hard time seeing it.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
marginwalker2002:
Wow, I remember feeling like that. Hell, I still do occasionally. There's an end to all ofit. Trust me. Just work through it all and do the best you can. Leave no reason for you to look back and be upset about how you handled yourself. Just realize that you did your best with what you had at the time.

You'll make it.
Dec 23, 2005
mistressvamp:
Merry Christmas! kiss
Dec 24, 2005

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