runelateralus

I have been extremely busy lately. Really really busy. So busy, I haven't had time to animate, draw, or play video games.

And because I haven't done those activities, I get to think about more of the reality that is around me instead of the fantasy that could occur in the future. And fuck...am I miserable.

I never felt so drained and felt so filled with emptiness until late. Maybe it is just this month (seriously, this is the worst month I have had all fucking year...in fact, for the past 10 years of my life), but nothing seems right at this point. I really don't like where I am at in my life right now. I hate being in this area. I hate the two jobs I am being underpaid to do. I hate the lonliness I experience everyday (hearing my friends' happiness with love doesn't help out either), and I hate where my life seems to be going.

And the worst thing is....it doesn't seem I can change it. I don't have the money to just move to west coast and try for better animation/modelling oppurtunities.

*sigh*

At least getting off my chest makes me feel somewhat better. Though it is a very small somewhat. I do know that things can get better...but maybe because of the rotten time I have be having, I am having a hard time seeing it.