Alright.. I just did something exhilarating.. lol. I got accepted into college, but I just deferred my application to fall 2011. I'm just really unsure about going to school again, and you know... going to school is a really expensive way to find yourself, which is what I'm trying to do. Find myself again.
I feel really lost. I don't know what I want to do. There are so many things I like doing (or at least "liked" doing.. things I used to enjoy don't give me as much joy as they once did, but I'm thinking that's temporary), I'm not sure which ones would make a viable "career". by the way, career is a horrible word.. it makes me think of working in an office, working at the web design company I used to work at. Ugh XD
So yeah.. Photography is something I would love to do for the rest of my life. Creating things with my own hands (be it knitting, sewing, painting, whatever) would make me happy, too. Creating makes me happy. I'd definitely like to take the photography program at Red River, just to be exposed to photography on a daily basis, but its so expensive and I think its too late to apply :/
The things I do know though... I want a big old house, I want to travel to Europe, and I don't want to work in an office environment EVER AGAIN.
I guess I can start with that.
Maybe there's nothing wrong with cruising for a bit. I have a vague plan. That vague plan is called "let's take time to enjoy life". I want to be able to slow down and enjoy things, let moments touch me to the depths of my soul.
My one idiot boyfriend I had (huge acid freak.. sorry, not my thing) said something once that kind of made me laugh, but made a lot of sense. It was something like "you can have a spiritual moment while washing the dishes." I thought about it.. and yeah I guess you can. I do some of my best thinking about things when washing the dishes. Doing the dishes keeps me in one place long enough to notice things about the house/apartment. The light streaming through the windows in the late afternoon on my day off.. the peacefulness of an empty house. Its nice
Yeah.. lots of thinking to do. I've been putting it off becuase I'm just THAT unsure. Usually I'm just chomping at the bit to have time to stop and think about the future. Making decisions is hard though.
I feel really lost. I don't know what I want to do. There are so many things I like doing (or at least "liked" doing.. things I used to enjoy don't give me as much joy as they once did, but I'm thinking that's temporary), I'm not sure which ones would make a viable "career". by the way, career is a horrible word.. it makes me think of working in an office, working at the web design company I used to work at. Ugh XD
So yeah.. Photography is something I would love to do for the rest of my life. Creating things with my own hands (be it knitting, sewing, painting, whatever) would make me happy, too. Creating makes me happy. I'd definitely like to take the photography program at Red River, just to be exposed to photography on a daily basis, but its so expensive and I think its too late to apply :/
The things I do know though... I want a big old house, I want to travel to Europe, and I don't want to work in an office environment EVER AGAIN.
I guess I can start with that.
Maybe there's nothing wrong with cruising for a bit. I have a vague plan. That vague plan is called "let's take time to enjoy life". I want to be able to slow down and enjoy things, let moments touch me to the depths of my soul.
My one idiot boyfriend I had (huge acid freak.. sorry, not my thing) said something once that kind of made me laugh, but made a lot of sense. It was something like "you can have a spiritual moment while washing the dishes." I thought about it.. and yeah I guess you can. I do some of my best thinking about things when washing the dishes. Doing the dishes keeps me in one place long enough to notice things about the house/apartment. The light streaming through the windows in the late afternoon on my day off.. the peacefulness of an empty house. Its nice
Yeah.. lots of thinking to do. I've been putting it off becuase I'm just THAT unsure. Usually I'm just chomping at the bit to have time to stop and think about the future. Making decisions is hard though.
casts_a_shadow:
Congrats on getting accepted
nemesis:
Come to Sweden where going to school is FREEEE. Heehee.
