run_rabbit_run

I've been so negative lately, but it reflects my current mood. I'm so stressed out that Ive become antisocial. I hate my job.. infact i hate my industry. But I feel trapped. I've never felt like this, so trapped, before. I'm 8 years into a career. It's had it's ups and downs. I'm awefully underpaid, but I worry that a change in careers won't pay me enough to survive. I barely scrape by at the moment, and couldn't afford to have some entry level position. I'm not really sure what to do. I can't take this too much longer.
I look back in the past and think about the directions I could have taken myself and wonder "what if"
I'm so tired.. exhausted infact, with this corporate bullshit. i should be thanking them for giving me a job.. FUCK YOU!!
I work so hard.. but it's never good enough. I just don't believe I'm living up to my potential, and don't feel like I'll ever be happy here. What's the solution??? I don't know.. what do I want to do?? I don't know... I'm so sad, I shoudn't feel like this. I mope around, and just want to be left alone.. yet a part of me wishes I had someone close to me.

My best friend.. well I guess he has become more of an aquantince.. isn't there for me.. It's one of those moments when i wish I had a gf at home to hug me and listen to me bitch...

I'm so miserable...