*sigh* talked to the guyfriend who's no longer allowed to be friends with me, friday, about getting our stuff returned to each other. once alone on the street he gave me the "i'm sorry, i'm cowardly, i'm really just trying to make myself feel less guilty right now" talk.
bleh. it was hard on me. nothing like someone saying they're sorry to try to make themselves feel better as they're continuing to do exactly what they're apologizing for.
so yesterday i got a call from him that he and the wife (ex-friend due to me not putting up with her being snotty to me nor agreeing with her over her abusive treatment of him) were coming in the area of my apartment and could do the switch off if i was ready. i couldn't find one of her shirts so i had to put it off to today....
so i called that i could now if it was doable for them. his answer was that They had just gotten in and so They couldn't do it today because They wouldn't probably be going out again tonight.
emphasis on "They" mine, translation: i'm not even allowed to meet you in a fully public place to exchange items without her being by my side. i know it's not just about meeting up with me and that honestly makes it feel a bit worse in a way.... he has to be in her sight at all times, unless she specifically sends him on an errand for her.
i hate that he's too much of a coward to stand up for himself, regarding & not regarding our friendship. i hate that i did get pulled into their nasty situation and then had my friendship dropped *by* him because i supported him and his side.
i know that it's an abusive relationship and he's an abuse victim. i know that he won't handle it until he grows up more (he's still very immature in many ways, though a good person) and until he's ready to stand up against her control & manipulation.
but knowing this doesn't make it any more pleasant to have to deal with. i'm fine, happy, pretty darn relieved at the lack of drama in my life now that i'm not friends with either of them. but these necessary run-ins to get our stuff changed over re-open the wound.
bleh. it was hard on me. nothing like someone saying they're sorry to try to make themselves feel better as they're continuing to do exactly what they're apologizing for.
so yesterday i got a call from him that he and the wife (ex-friend due to me not putting up with her being snotty to me nor agreeing with her over her abusive treatment of him) were coming in the area of my apartment and could do the switch off if i was ready. i couldn't find one of her shirts so i had to put it off to today....
so i called that i could now if it was doable for them. his answer was that They had just gotten in and so They couldn't do it today because They wouldn't probably be going out again tonight.
emphasis on "They" mine, translation: i'm not even allowed to meet you in a fully public place to exchange items without her being by my side. i know it's not just about meeting up with me and that honestly makes it feel a bit worse in a way.... he has to be in her sight at all times, unless she specifically sends him on an errand for her.
i hate that he's too much of a coward to stand up for himself, regarding & not regarding our friendship. i hate that i did get pulled into their nasty situation and then had my friendship dropped *by* him because i supported him and his side.
i know that it's an abusive relationship and he's an abuse victim. i know that he won't handle it until he grows up more (he's still very immature in many ways, though a good person) and until he's ready to stand up against her control & manipulation.
but knowing this doesn't make it any more pleasant to have to deal with. i'm fine, happy, pretty darn relieved at the lack of drama in my life now that i'm not friends with either of them. but these necessary run-ins to get our stuff changed over re-open the wound.