ok. despite the request for encores and other displays, i must post-pone any grooving goodness...
as tonight is another night of NEED TO FUCK discomfort.
there is someone i am avoiding calling... there is someone i would love to have here... there is someone i want to do terrible things to... and someone i would love to do terrible things to me...
and what's worse, i'm starting to actually care for them.
have been keeping my mouth shut to my closest friends about this, as things are complicated.
doesn't help i am flopping between okay, depressed, and hypomanic.. i know these past couple times it's been strong have been mania-based.. and tonight that is surely the case as i'm also feeling loud & aggressive in-general.
i might call up my two buddies and see if i can not-sleep at their house tonight just to be with somebody.. i realize i could be in trouble (not serious, or i'd self-admit.. just enough to have a horrid night).
you know, i think i will.
as tonight is another night of NEED TO FUCK discomfort.
there is someone i am avoiding calling... there is someone i would love to have here... there is someone i want to do terrible things to... and someone i would love to do terrible things to me...
and what's worse, i'm starting to actually care for them.
have been keeping my mouth shut to my closest friends about this, as things are complicated.
doesn't help i am flopping between okay, depressed, and hypomanic.. i know these past couple times it's been strong have been mania-based.. and tonight that is surely the case as i'm also feeling loud & aggressive in-general.
i might call up my two buddies and see if i can not-sleep at their house tonight just to be with somebody.. i realize i could be in trouble (not serious, or i'd self-admit.. just enough to have a horrid night).
you know, i think i will.
Strange.
my birthday is in april too. the 5th, actually.