@rambo @missy
So back in my college days I use to hang out at this cafe called 'Coffee Plantation' in downtown Tempe Arizona. This place was huge and could easily hold 100 people at a time. A certain barista caught my eye one day, so i would make small talk and she would always want to hold conversations with me. One day she's like, "I'm on break soon. Why don't you sit down somewhere so we can talk."
"Okay."
This girl is just so damn beautiful with a really great personality. So yah, I was pleased with myself.
She eventually joins me. Her name tag says 'Elbereth', hmmm... "That's an interesting name?
"Not as interesting as my middle name," she says, "Gilthoneil."
I was drinking a large Iced Mocha Latte. And it had a straw in it. My first thought is, hippies? Strange name, I've seen it before. "Wait, your parents are 'Lord of the Rings' nerds?"
She smiled. "Yes." I had only read the damn thing about 10 times at that point. So I'm completely fascinated by this woman and I pick this moment to try and be suave. I wanted to hold eye contact with her while she was speaking and I thought I had pretty good idea where my straw was, so I was like, I'll grab the straw with my mouth without looking. That should look pretty cool.
So I bend my head down, while maintaining that oh so precious eye contact and I feel the straw. Not in my mouth, cause that would be the correct way. No. I feel it go about 3 inches up my left nostril. I'm like, what the fuck? Mind you, I'm still maintaining that eye contact. She doesn't react, so I'm thinking, okay now just slowly back the fuck up. This ain't so bad. Maybe she didn't even notice.
I lift my head and the straw comes out of the glass and yes it's still 3 inches up my nose. I could only just sit there maintaining that eye contact while she burst out laughing.
Suffice it to say, that killed any chance of anything romantic happening after that, but on the plus side we did become the best friends and still are.
