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rudeboy71

Chicago

Member Since 2004

Followers 201 Following 472

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Being Strange

Mar 28, 2015
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@tbars wrote a comment on my last blog that I almost answered in a very long reply. I thought I would just save it and write a blog instead.

So my whole life I've been called wired or strange. By friends, family or just plain strangers. And I never saw this as an insult but I always said thank you. I don't try to be weird in any way, I just have many strange notions about life and my place in it.

It starts way back at the age of 5. I drew Snap, Crackle, and Pop. The Rice Crispies guys and I did a very good job at it. And I experienced something new that I liked. Praise. And not just praise, I also enjoyed making art. So at a very young age, I already knew what I was going to do with the rest of my life. A thing that some people never figure out was something I didn't have to think about ever again.

Around the age of 8 I started getting warts on my hand. It got so bad, I had like 40 of them. Half were small and the other half were large and would hurt and bleed. I was so ashamed that I would hide my hands and try not talk to anyone. My hands were like this for 5yrs. And no my parents did not notice and they didn't care enough to take me to a doctor. I only finally got rid of them when I saw a commercial for Compound W a wart remover. They were gone within a week. It was strangely exhilarating and liberating to be rid of something that had been such a huge part of my life. And yes I could be mad that my parents could of spared me all that suffering for all that time. But in those 5yrs, I had practically locked myself away and removed myself for any type of human contact except for school of course. The one thing that saved me and kept me sane was my art. I devoted countless hours to it.

So once the warts were finally gone and I felt no shame of anyone seeing my hands I started to draw and doodle in class. And my classmates would notice and people would talk to me and be interested in me. And I would talk to anyone. It didn't matter if you popular or unpopular. I didn't discriminate nor did I put myself on any sort of pedestal. Who was I to judge anyone. I already knew what it was like to feel deformed and to be an outsider.

I noticed another strange phenomenon. Because I could do art I was given all kinds of leeway to be strange. I wasn't trying to be strange but it was acceptable to most people because they would just explain it away 'Well he's an artist. They're all weird.' I never got any pushback from anyone about any strange thoughts I may have. I never felt any of the normal peer pressure most people experience to fit into any one group or another. So I have always been able to be a part of any group I wanted to be and talk to anyone I wanted to. And after the 5yrs of total isolation, this to me was a sort of incredible freedom I enjoyed exploring. I didn't want to feel around the edges, I wanted to go past them. I sought out the strangeness in everyone, and yes we are all strange to varying degress. So instead of trying to make others conform to my way of thinking, I would embrace all the strangeness of people around me. As far as what I want from people close to me is that I trully want them to feel comfortable in their own skin and to feel like they can be any witch way they want around me and say what they want. I want complete honesty. I don't care for lying. Just be you, whatever that may be.

I don't even understand why people want such conformity or even want to surround themselves with people that agree with them exclusively. I love the wide range of ideas. I have ultra liberal friends and ultra conservative friends. I think it's important to not shut yourself off from ideas or thoughts you may not agree with. I love when people argue with me. Not angry arguing but more of a discussion of ideas. Who knows I could be wrong but I will never know if my own ideas are never challenged. So go out and make friends and challenge whatever notions you may have.

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