How i deal with actual physical confrontation.
Who knows, maybe this will help you. In the first place always approach the situation with the thought that you will most likely get your ass kicked. Begin by assuming that. Accept the fact that you might get hurt and you will feel pain. Approaching it scared won't help. You will get your ass kicked wether you are scared or not. It doesn't change a thing but usually speeds the process. Being pissed off, angry, and puffing your chest doesn't help much unless you really do want to fight. And then you will get exactly what you want or they will run away. I grew up with three brothers so i don't fear pain and i am not scared of fights.
There is one approach that confuses the hell out of people. You see, i don't much care to fight. It takes too damn much energy and you can fuck shit up on yourself that you might not want fucked up. I always look for conflict resolution. So what i do when people start shit or get in my face, is i speak in a very even voice. No anger, no fear, just talk real calm. The thing is, when people start shit, this is the last thing they expect, so it throws them off their gameplan. In their head they've already played out the scenario before it happens and what they will do. They just have not played that one out. They do not expect someone to be talking calmly and rationally. It's worked everytime for me. Since i am not affraid of a physical confrontation, it's an easy gamble for me to take.
Now, what do you do if your ganged up? Depends. If they have not started kicking your ass yet that means they are unsure so you do have a chance to get out of it. I have been ganged up on and surrounded on four occasions. Once by over forty kids. Not once in any of those situations did a fight ever occour. Always pick out the weakest members, they are usually the instigators. Pick them out and talk to them out and talk to them like there's nobody else around.
Here's an example of one such incident with me. In highschool a friend of mine started some vicious rumors about his girlfriend that he laid the blame for squarely on my shoulder. So he shows up with two big guys in the hallways and says, "Lets go outside, we got some shit to settle."
"We're going to kick your ass!" The big guy says.
So one of my friends is there and asks me if i need any help. I tell him it's fine, I'll deal with it. It's my problem.
So we go outside. And they start arguing with me about what i said about this guys girlfriend. I defend myself and realise that they want to fight no matter what i say. So i look the guy who started all this shit right in the eye and i say, "I don't know these guys and i have no beef with them. But you, i want you to know this. I don't care what fuckin punches they are throwing at me or what they are fuckin hitting me with. I am going to concentrate all my punches, everything i have on you. I am going to ignore them and beat the living fuck out of you till i can't no more."
All of a sudden i saw fear in his eyes and i say, "Lets go. Lets do this thing."
He grabs both their arms and pulls them away. This is not how this senario played out in his head. I was supposed to be bloody and on the ground. No fight ever happend. All of a sudden he's a peacemaker. So you see, always do what people least expect. It does help that i am Six-three.
Who knows, maybe this will help you. In the first place always approach the situation with the thought that you will most likely get your ass kicked. Begin by assuming that. Accept the fact that you might get hurt and you will feel pain. Approaching it scared won't help. You will get your ass kicked wether you are scared or not. It doesn't change a thing but usually speeds the process. Being pissed off, angry, and puffing your chest doesn't help much unless you really do want to fight. And then you will get exactly what you want or they will run away. I grew up with three brothers so i don't fear pain and i am not scared of fights.
There is one approach that confuses the hell out of people. You see, i don't much care to fight. It takes too damn much energy and you can fuck shit up on yourself that you might not want fucked up. I always look for conflict resolution. So what i do when people start shit or get in my face, is i speak in a very even voice. No anger, no fear, just talk real calm. The thing is, when people start shit, this is the last thing they expect, so it throws them off their gameplan. In their head they've already played out the scenario before it happens and what they will do. They just have not played that one out. They do not expect someone to be talking calmly and rationally. It's worked everytime for me. Since i am not affraid of a physical confrontation, it's an easy gamble for me to take.
Now, what do you do if your ganged up? Depends. If they have not started kicking your ass yet that means they are unsure so you do have a chance to get out of it. I have been ganged up on and surrounded on four occasions. Once by over forty kids. Not once in any of those situations did a fight ever occour. Always pick out the weakest members, they are usually the instigators. Pick them out and talk to them out and talk to them like there's nobody else around.
Here's an example of one such incident with me. In highschool a friend of mine started some vicious rumors about his girlfriend that he laid the blame for squarely on my shoulder. So he shows up with two big guys in the hallways and says, "Lets go outside, we got some shit to settle."
"We're going to kick your ass!" The big guy says.
So one of my friends is there and asks me if i need any help. I tell him it's fine, I'll deal with it. It's my problem.
So we go outside. And they start arguing with me about what i said about this guys girlfriend. I defend myself and realise that they want to fight no matter what i say. So i look the guy who started all this shit right in the eye and i say, "I don't know these guys and i have no beef with them. But you, i want you to know this. I don't care what fuckin punches they are throwing at me or what they are fuckin hitting me with. I am going to concentrate all my punches, everything i have on you. I am going to ignore them and beat the living fuck out of you till i can't no more."
All of a sudden i saw fear in his eyes and i say, "Lets go. Lets do this thing."
He grabs both their arms and pulls them away. This is not how this senario played out in his head. I was supposed to be bloody and on the ground. No fight ever happend. All of a sudden he's a peacemaker. So you see, always do what people least expect. It does help that i am Six-three.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
darla:
Dude no way! That's my second favorite song ever!
ridley:
Thank you so much for your comment on my set. 
