rubyet

One of the weirdest things about me has always been my accent.

I have a American/Canadian accent, you see. I was born with it. Despite never having been to Canada. Or the Americas. Or anywhere but Australia and the U.K.

Ok, so maybe i wasn't born with it. It's not like babies recieve their accents through the placenta or something.
But I've always had it, since the first day I figured out how to talk. Now you're wondering whether I had an unhealthy relationship with the television, right? Or that my parents were neglectful - perhaps smoking crack in the background whilst junior was up front enjoying the soothingly radioactive glow of the television screen? Well, you'd be right on the former, anyway. I was obsessed like few children are. And that is saying a lot. Really. I should have had a spot on The Simpsons I loved the darned thing so much.

You hear all these stories of people who get accent dysmorphia or who wake up in the morning with new accents (like that lady from Michigan) but what about people who are 'born' with it? With this monumental flaw in our vocal make-up, where's our moment in the sun? Huh?

Nowhere. In the end, I consider myself a harbinger of dark times - a kind of Bellweather of Corporate Globalisation and Social Imperialism.

I feel jilted.