rubydoll

So, I acted a little on the impulsive side tonight. In three hours, I completely tore down my whole room, and sectioned my belongs off into luggage or strategically placed them into my closet. I still have a week to go, and all my clothing is packed. Yes, I do realize that this doesn't make sense, and while I was doing it I did realize that it would be terribly inconvenient to go through the trunk for undies and such, but I wanted to do it, so I did. I figure two days, go to my work clothes by default, Wednesday has already been assigned to who gives a fuck day, so that just leaves the weekend. My parents are gone. It's my last weekend. April & Anthony are crashing, and I am sure that if we drink, which we most likely will, those babies will have me crying. I better be on my guard and not start taking shots, or else. I don't think I will feel like dressing up. I do plan on getting my nipples speared before I go, but we'll see how that goes this time.

My walls are barren, my once cluttered surfaces, are littered with traces of dust, and abandonment. You would never know that I was in this place. Nothing. For the first time it seems like just a room, instead of a place I spent countless hours adding clutter and hiding. I can imagine this being quite depressing for my mother who use to beg me to get rid of my things, and now my room is dead. I am leaving all my favorite things behind buried in my closet, because I have issues with paranoia. The most important things, are going in the attic where I know my meddling sister and such won't go. I feel like I am never coming back, and surprisingly it's feeling closer to relief instead of sorrow. I have never had any regrets, mistakes sure, but no regrets. I don't like to live in the past, and I am getting excited about really living. Time has expired for me in this place. I'm going to just live, and not worry about what I left behind. My mind is set now, and nothing short of a horrible illness will bring me back to this room.

I was thinking about taking one last series of pictures in this room, but I figured being friendless and bored up yonder will allow plenty of opportunity for picture taking. Maybe if I am lucky my roommate will be cool as hell and take some with me. Don't think I won't ask her. I will. I figure, get everything out in the first week. Set boundaries and all that fun stuff. I hope she isn't shy, and I hope that she is super friendly and open-minded. I might be pushing it, but I hope hope hope any how. If not, then I am still taking pictures. hahahhhaha, funny.