roxymonoxcide

How can I be for or against someone when I don't have all the information to make a formative decision? And how am I to reach any type of decision when the person I speak of is myself? It's been back and forth for so long now and I'm really not sure which side is going to win. At this point it's safe to say that I am at war with myself. And let me tell you, I am one hell of an advisory. I've weighed the pros and cons. I've gotten so pissed at myself that I can't bear to look in the mirror in the morning. This mental tug a war is not making me happy. But I know that there's a good chance that picking either side over the other is going to leave me with regrets. It's a no win situation I'm in. I have to just accept the fact that I'm complicated...I know that better than anyone else. Knowing that fact doesn't make my life or the process of making a basic decision any easier. I feel very useless. I mean on one hand, I'm not making a difference in this world what so ever but also I suppose I'm not making it any worse. I'm stuck in neutral just coasting through life. So when am I going to stop? When I hit something or when I finally switch into some kind of gear? And what if that gear is reverse?! Ugh god and did I really just write a whole car analogy for my life? What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like this is becoming more day to day, the questions piling up with very little answers. This can't be what I'm meant to do while I'm alive...or does that even really matter? What if in the end the biggest contribution I make is being worm food? How fucking depressing is that?! Ugh more questions.