roxymonoxcide

"Slick Nick stole the reindeer from the zoo
Fell down my chimney with a keg of brew
Put my dog out in the cold
Ripped off the candy from my socks
Smokin' coals and drinkin' scotch

Dressed in red and overweight to boot
Stole the TV and the stereo
And the toys
The toys were broken in two

I saw Slick Nick fall over the x-mas tree
He was a whole different man from what mom and dad told me
Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes
Spray-paintin' a bad finger over the fireplace
tattoos on his arms and knees
I never thought Santa Claus would be such a sleaze

Cussin and Coughin and playing punk-rock
And every once in while you's just scratch your jock
Hey slick nick where are my toys?
You went drinking with the boys
you put mad dog in my sock, I wanted candy
I WANTED candy! I WANTED CANDY!

Oh I thought you were my buddy and chum
but you're just a downtown bum
Instead of putting presents in front of my eyes
you just told me a bunch of lies

Slick Nick you devil you.