roxy

I'm returning to a theme that's been very prevalent in my life. One I've returned to again and again, and one I've seen thrust in front of me over and over. That's the idea that I'm only good for sex, only worth how good I am in bed. I probably shouldn't be posting this here... but it has *nothing* to do with this site, and *nothing* to do with anyone at all who reads this (that means you... you know who you are).

It's just a concept I see repeated throghout my life, and one I commonly return to when I'm depressed. Maybe it's just because I'm having a bad night, who knows.

It goes back really far though, to my childhood. I know that sounds sick... but it's more complicated than you think.

Oh fuck, who knows?! I'm really depressed right now and I'm rambling. I'm not happy with life right now and the curves it has thrown me. I'm sure I'll wake in the morning and regret writing this post late at night in a depressed and drug-influenced state. But for right now, it's how I feel.

I think I'll go to bed now. Things usually seem better in the morning, if even just a little bit. And my head won't feel so fuzzy. If you're reading this, enjoy. I'm sure I'll erase it soon enough.

-Roxy.