roxxee

Home again, home again...

Coming through the lines in my walls your words fall down on me and your distance weighs down on me and your saddness turns me around to a year but an eternity ago and I think how I was happy but could not be happy. But. You made me happy. Items in boxes I packed weeks ago and I think that...
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...and I said come on in when you came to the door, shivering and half drowned in rain. You slept by the fire like some lap dog and rose up in the morning as a killer of squirrels and cats and men. I wrung my hands and cried to you to stop what you wanted to do, to break me, but it was too late....
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To A:

Oh, take a drag and break my heart. You cried these crocodile tears and the blood ran down my legs and pooled all around me. You don't know anything of me and it was a lie was from the start. Your cruel hands perfectly sculpted in black and blue on my wrists and my neck and soul. Please don't pretend to break through...
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Your kiss is like sex and memories I have yet to make. A white wedding in the primordial midnight.

All things in time come to end, even those that our hearts can't stand to see turn their backs and walk away, ciggarette carelessly dangling from the corner of your mouth. And I imagine what could have been but never was and I think that I should have called but what good would it have done? I stood in the shower and washed it all...
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"Don't kiss me that way", I said. It only reminds me and maybe now I want no more reminders. It was all so long ago and my memory fades now and then, the contrast becomes blurred and I know the voice isn't what it truly was. Like stereo. So where was I when you cried and called and I wasn't here? Where could I have...
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It was so nice to hear your voice through the static of miles and tears and fading memories. Time has rushed through me, stripped me to the bone. When I was alone and hallucinating, when they stood around me clucked their, tougues "Poor little thing.", "Let us save her.", I thought mostly of rainy days and shaky kisses. You know what so many can't but...
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I remember, please don't ever think I would forget. Standing outside at the car thinking of things I need to do like pick up a piece of trash, finish a cigarette, look for some invisible item, anything to keep us standing there together a little longer. When I would drive away into the night every impulse inside of me would scream to turn around, to...
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To D

Sitting next to you at that Thai place, outside in the air, you held my hand under the table and I thrilled when you casually brushed my thigh. The conversion was a lulling force to the sharp drumming I felt inside, wishing we were here but that we were not here, but instead in your room. Smiths on your stereo, eating cheese pizza...
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Bleh. My man left today and I'm stuck at a friend's house waiting for German Services to deliver a washer and dryer. On the plus side his flight was extended 5 days for the Memorial Day weekend, Thanks Air Force!
Now he's off to Afghnistan for a year. I was sad to see him go but we have web cams and he has a laptop...
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