roxsea

I can tell it is time for a new blog. So what is on my mind?

I can tell you this- I'm scared as hell to graduate.

A strange fear, I know. I think I'm having such a hard time with the idea mainly because I've really done nothing else for SO LONG. I mean, I've had shitty jobs since I was old enough to work. But now that I'm graduating, I have all this pressure to not have a shitty job anymore. I mean, that IS why people go to college; to land that dream job that makes them millions. So what will mine be?

The saddest part, is currently, my shitty job has gotten to a whole new level of shit. Now, they don't even give me hours. I can say that I have officially just filed for unemployment benefits. I hope I get it. Watching your bank account balance approach rock bottom is a whole lot less fun that I've ever imagined. On the plus side, I have signed up for a ton of workshops offered at my school's career center. After this down time I should be able to "Apply for grad school," "Land the interview," and most importantly, know "How to search for a job in a tight market." Maybe after I graduate I can just continue to show up to these workshops. Maybe just grab a book and chill in the library like I belong there or something.

Ugh, I hate not knowing what to do to get to where I want to be. The worst part is, I don't even really know where I want to be. . IS.

It's all so frustrating.

Let's list what I am grateful for (this should ease the mood)
1. My family (especially the furry, wiggly members)
2. My health (I'm not really grateful for it, but I definitely know I'm loving not being sick)
3. My boyfriend (he kind of fits in number 1, but I think he needs his own space)
4. My friends (I can always use more though )
5. Having a roof over my head and a meal in my stomach (warm and yummy)

I feel better already.
oxox
~Rox