roxiekill

when i was a child, maybe 8 years old, i told myself that i would never hurt a man the way my mother hurt my father. it was a vow i made to myself and to the future loves of my life that turned me into this passive, frightened partner. so far ive done a pretty damn good job of making sure that im the one to get hurt.... until now. ive hurt the man i love more than anyone ive ever loved. his heart is broken and all trust is gone. ALL of it. he gave me a chance to try to redeem myself, and of course, i fucked up again. i feel like such a stupid girl. a stupid girl with a big problem. i dont expect him to be coming home tonight. but i will be there... waiting.... hoping he will show up and put his arms around me and try, at least a little, to forgive the mistakes of a young girl so in love with a beautiful, sad man.