its after 7 now, and i still havent done everything i need to do to open this place up. the fucked up thing about it is i dont care. i havent put the bagels in the bagel case, or put the table and chairs out or got ice.
i woke up with this fucking awful headache and feeling sick to my stomach.
i dont know if its because i woke up in the middle of the night and garrett was watching porn ads on the internet, and then pretended he was just checking his e mail, or if i just didnt sleep right/eat right yesterday. maybe its because we sleep in piss and cum and fucking cigarette ashes. but i feel like i need to go home. i could leave here at 11 30 and go home, but i dont have a way to get there. i could call a cab.
i want to sleep. and im getting fucking sick of depending on garrett to bring me to work.
my boss is unreliable.
next time my boyfriend wants me to squirt for him, im not going to do it. he obviously doesnt need me for that. it looked to me like that girl on the ad he was watching can put on a good enough show for him. and since he just NEEDS TO see it so badly that when im asleep he has to go watch it. thats what he can do from now on. ill just wait outside, or in the kitchen or something. fuck
i want to throw hot coffee on everyone that walks through this door.
j want to curl up in bed and be alone all day and all night long.
i dont want garrett to put his hands on me because when he touches me, hes probably thinking of someone else. . thats what guys do right? im nothing. im no one. just a piece of ass he can use to make his fantasies come true. thats all.
i shouldnt be freaking out like this at work.....and i think my headache is getting worse. fuck.
i want to run. i want to give up. im sick of working so much. im tired of having to go to school for hours after i get off work, i hate depending on people to take me places
i hate that i woke up at the wrong time last night
in the wrong state of mind
im sick.
goodbye
i woke up with this fucking awful headache and feeling sick to my stomach.
i dont know if its because i woke up in the middle of the night and garrett was watching porn ads on the internet, and then pretended he was just checking his e mail, or if i just didnt sleep right/eat right yesterday. maybe its because we sleep in piss and cum and fucking cigarette ashes. but i feel like i need to go home. i could leave here at 11 30 and go home, but i dont have a way to get there. i could call a cab.
i want to sleep. and im getting fucking sick of depending on garrett to bring me to work.
my boss is unreliable.
next time my boyfriend wants me to squirt for him, im not going to do it. he obviously doesnt need me for that. it looked to me like that girl on the ad he was watching can put on a good enough show for him. and since he just NEEDS TO see it so badly that when im asleep he has to go watch it. thats what he can do from now on. ill just wait outside, or in the kitchen or something. fuck
i want to throw hot coffee on everyone that walks through this door.
j want to curl up in bed and be alone all day and all night long.
i dont want garrett to put his hands on me because when he touches me, hes probably thinking of someone else. . thats what guys do right? im nothing. im no one. just a piece of ass he can use to make his fantasies come true. thats all.
i shouldnt be freaking out like this at work.....and i think my headache is getting worse. fuck.
i want to run. i want to give up. im sick of working so much. im tired of having to go to school for hours after i get off work, i hate depending on people to take me places
i hate that i woke up at the wrong time last night
in the wrong state of mind
im sick.
goodbye
sicmonte:
roxie...not sure if this helps...but every guy watches porn. Shit..I had a g/f of over 2 years and I still watched porn....even when she was around I watched it. Im sure you are ok. Your a great girl...garrett is lucky to have you. Keep your head up.