I ask myself a constant stream of questions.
Why am I so afraid to feel passionately about anything? Where did this crippling fear of judgement come from? Why do I care so much about what others think of me, especially the people I'm close to? Why don't I ever stand up for myself, or anyone else, when no one else will? Why do I have this intense fear of failure to the extent of letting it hold me back from doing what I think is right? Why am I so afraid all the time?
What is there really to be so afraid of?
But I can't stop thinking, I can't stop asking questions, I can't stop feeling like I've got everything wrong and that I need to change almost every aspect of myself to be finally happy. It's no wonder that I yearn to medicate all of my feelings away and to become a cold, heartless shell.
