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Welp, I am officially heart sick again. I was doing fine until HE came over last Sunday night. (He being the father of my child). I probably shouldn\'t have let him, but I thought I could handle it. Things went great though. We laughed and flirted and even snuggled some. I thought that maybe he was considering coming back home. Well all those feelings resurfaced again and the past few days have been hell. I texted messaged him the next day and he didnt even reply. I haven\'t heard from him since. It broke my heart into even smaller pieces. So I just emailed him and told him that I dont think it\'s a good idea that he came over anymore. Not unless he plans on coming back home. I hope that is the right thing to do, and I hope my baby will someday understand why I made that decision and not hold it against me. Its her daddy\'s fault that she doesnt get to see him, not mine. I hope she sees that. Last night I was searching through myspace and I found a picture of him with his arms around another girl.....and not a very attractive one to say the least. Actually I think she\'s one of his ex\'s. But that doesn\'t have to mean anything does it? Im such a jealous bitch. I want my man back and I feel powerless. I feel like Ive wasted 5 years of my life. Well I shouldnt say that, because at least I got a beautiful lil girl out of him. God damnit I hate love and what it does to people. Fuck penis!