rouke

It's Friday tomorrow. Atlantic City Tattoo Convention all weekend.

I've been sending out resume all week and no one has called me back yet. It drives me crazy. I know I'm better then most chefs out there. I have always wondered if staying at Braddock's for 20 years was a mistake. Do people think I can't change or work in another place. Chefs don't usually stay in one place all that long. 2 to 3 years is about the norm. Worst comes to worst I will start knocking on doors next week.

I know I've wrote this before, but not dating isn't easy at all. Being alone, by myself allows all my demons to appear. All the negative thoughts, all the self doubts, everything I don't like about myself to come to the surface. I know their not true, but it takes alot of self will not to drown in them.

I told my mom this story last night. I was 5 years old, it was Sunday morning in winter. I'm not sure of the month. The night before we had a major ice storm. Everything was covered in 1 to 2 inches of ice. My father decided we were still going to church that morning. I was standing in the living room looking out the bay window. Watching my father back the car out of the garage. The car got as far as the driveway when it slide across the lawn and settled in the front yard. I remember saying to myself: "go and hide, don't come out till dinner" I ran up into the attic and sat there eating stale oreo cookies and chips. I didn't come down until dinner time. I knew at age 5, my father was crazy. I think I was the only one who thought this growing up. I have tons of stories like this.

Happy
Hot

Good Night World