rose_red

for as long as i can remember backward, i've been able to recognize a, sort of, "natural violence" about myself. it's not that i posture and attack -- i guess you'd have to know me to understand. i don't enjoy emotional pain. i don't want to inflict it because i've been hurt. i can't identify with that. what i can identify with is infinite sadness. i've been sad, right to my core, for a very long time. some people can see it when they look at me. it's because they're sad, too. most people that are attracted to me, i know, look at me first because of my expression. i can accept that.

i'm less sad. my eyes are brighter. i think less about the future and the past. i spend all of my time teaching myself to create.

i admit the following; i love to be laughed at for my personality traits. (i.e. fist shaking, the way i laugh, not combing my hair before i leave the house, leaning on walls rather than walking upright, etc.)