disaster did come and go. i will not put myself in that position again with him. and it wasnt as bad as it was before.
i think i finally believe luke when he says im a fighter. that i will be fine, and everything will work out for me. i can make it without him.
i dont need to be with someone to be happy with who i am. i have amazing friends and support system who love me for being me, no matter what. i didnt realize how much i shut them out when i was with him. and now that they are back in my life.. i realized how much i missed them. thats not to say i dont want to be in a relationship. but its gotta be someone who can come out and have fun with me and them, and not just stay home all the time or go out without them all the time.
my awesome friend from Cali is back this week. and it was amazing to see him again. its nice to know i have people who i can not talk to for months, and when i see them its back right where it was. and in seeing him, i think i made another good friend who i may or may not be moving in with at some point.
issues with "housemates" makes me want to not be at home. at this moment - i am locked in my room, so i dont have to see them. with music so lould i wont hear if they try and knock. i didnt come home last night because of it. i dont even want to see them or talk to them. i intend to stay up here until i have to leave so i can just walk out the door. and thats not good living.. avoiding 'home'. i hate it.
i havent really looked for a jobby in the bartending scene yet. i dont even know how to.. are they even open during the day? i have no idea.. im not too worried. ill find something.. too many bars to count in the area. and i have a job listing that my teacher gives me.
im in suprising high spirits lately dispite the yucky shit storm around me. taking it day by day, and trying to survive.. and going out at night with good people and having fun.
my mom is getting married on saturday to an amazing guy. i get to be the photographer. i am really happy for her. for both of them. its about time that shes happy and back in love.
now... where did i put my hair dye?
i think i finally believe luke when he says im a fighter. that i will be fine, and everything will work out for me. i can make it without him.
i dont need to be with someone to be happy with who i am. i have amazing friends and support system who love me for being me, no matter what. i didnt realize how much i shut them out when i was with him. and now that they are back in my life.. i realized how much i missed them. thats not to say i dont want to be in a relationship. but its gotta be someone who can come out and have fun with me and them, and not just stay home all the time or go out without them all the time.
my awesome friend from Cali is back this week. and it was amazing to see him again. its nice to know i have people who i can not talk to for months, and when i see them its back right where it was. and in seeing him, i think i made another good friend who i may or may not be moving in with at some point.
issues with "housemates" makes me want to not be at home. at this moment - i am locked in my room, so i dont have to see them. with music so lould i wont hear if they try and knock. i didnt come home last night because of it. i dont even want to see them or talk to them. i intend to stay up here until i have to leave so i can just walk out the door. and thats not good living.. avoiding 'home'. i hate it.
i havent really looked for a jobby in the bartending scene yet. i dont even know how to.. are they even open during the day? i have no idea.. im not too worried. ill find something.. too many bars to count in the area. and i have a job listing that my teacher gives me.
im in suprising high spirits lately dispite the yucky shit storm around me. taking it day by day, and trying to survive.. and going out at night with good people and having fun.
my mom is getting married on saturday to an amazing guy. i get to be the photographer. i am really happy for her. for both of them. its about time that shes happy and back in love.
now... where did i put my hair dye?
now you need to go about replacing the bad people in your house...id imagine that is not easy to do so do it whenever you're ready to.