I'm starting to think that I'm not cut out to be President - actually I changed the name of the office to something I feel is more appropriate for my triumphant reign - Grand Exallted Ruler of the Known and Unknown Universe Held Within the Boundaries of Tagikistan Master Rope, Sir.
Some of the aspects of the Grand Exalted Ruler have been easy to implement. My brother in law is in charge of the secret police, my Father now controls every gas station, supermarket, clothing store and all power stations. My brother is now owner of the state newspaper and censureship is back in place where it belongs. My Sister owns the tv outlet. My Mom, well Mom is my most trusted advisor and oversees the entire prison system. Of course the offshore bank accounts are in place. All foreign aid is funneled into these accounts for later distribution to my family and friends.
So far so good right?
Here's the rub. All effective rulers declare marshall law or at least set up the office of homeland security to deny citizens their civil and legal rights. Sounds like fun doesn't it? Well I'm a diyed in the wool libretarian with strong anarchist leanings. What fun would it be making up new laws all day to keep the people in their place? It's just not me. Turns out thought that my son Rope W. has quite a knack for it. He's a died in the wool republican and as such the perfect choice to be acting
Grand Exallted Ruler of the Known and Unknown Universe Held Within the Boundaries of Tagikistan. Of course he'll just be a figurehead but then I wouldn't have to directly compromise my beliefs and values. I'll have him do it for me. So I'm moving on from Tajikistan.
Next stop is Cuba, where I'm going to try to break into the prison at Gitmo. I'll keep y'all posted. Until then bend over and grovel at my feet.
Some of the aspects of the Grand Exalted Ruler have been easy to implement. My brother in law is in charge of the secret police, my Father now controls every gas station, supermarket, clothing store and all power stations. My brother is now owner of the state newspaper and censureship is back in place where it belongs. My Sister owns the tv outlet. My Mom, well Mom is my most trusted advisor and oversees the entire prison system. Of course the offshore bank accounts are in place. All foreign aid is funneled into these accounts for later distribution to my family and friends.
So far so good right?
Here's the rub. All effective rulers declare marshall law or at least set up the office of homeland security to deny citizens their civil and legal rights. Sounds like fun doesn't it? Well I'm a diyed in the wool libretarian with strong anarchist leanings. What fun would it be making up new laws all day to keep the people in their place? It's just not me. Turns out thought that my son Rope W. has quite a knack for it. He's a died in the wool republican and as such the perfect choice to be acting
Grand Exallted Ruler of the Known and Unknown Universe Held Within the Boundaries of Tagikistan. Of course he'll just be a figurehead but then I wouldn't have to directly compromise my beliefs and values. I'll have him do it for me. So I'm moving on from Tajikistan.
Next stop is Cuba, where I'm going to try to break into the prison at Gitmo. I'll keep y'all posted. Until then bend over and grovel at my feet.