rooraddict

Day In The Life of A Stoner

This is how it manifests:
I decide to wash my car.



As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.


I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full


So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.


I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.


My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.


I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.



I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.


As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.


I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.


I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.


I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.


I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.


So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.


Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.