I'm feeling very disconnected lately.
It's probably because of working nights and always having to be somewhere else, mentally, than where I am physically. It's tough to be at one with the moment when you have so much on your mind and your thoughts are headed in a dozen different directions at once.
But this is how my life is at the moment. Some of you will understand this predicament, some of you won't and some of you will only think that you do.
A part of me wants to turn my back on everything that isn't just about me and mine, to ignore the larger world and just cocoon myself away. This is a very strong desire right now but past experience has taught that no good comes of it. I, even if nobody else does, need the grounding and uplifting influence of good people around me. Without it I become something less than I like to be. Even though it's easier to just throw your emotional hands up the air and give in to the darkest parts of you, I won't be doing that any time soon. I can't afford to. I think only one of you will truly understand why that is.
Therefore I will continue on as I am, as best I can. But I beg your indulgence should I seem distant, uncaring or irritable. I'll catch up with myself sooner or later, but just now my body and my mind are running different races.
It's probably because of working nights and always having to be somewhere else, mentally, than where I am physically. It's tough to be at one with the moment when you have so much on your mind and your thoughts are headed in a dozen different directions at once.
But this is how my life is at the moment. Some of you will understand this predicament, some of you won't and some of you will only think that you do.
A part of me wants to turn my back on everything that isn't just about me and mine, to ignore the larger world and just cocoon myself away. This is a very strong desire right now but past experience has taught that no good comes of it. I, even if nobody else does, need the grounding and uplifting influence of good people around me. Without it I become something less than I like to be. Even though it's easier to just throw your emotional hands up the air and give in to the darkest parts of you, I won't be doing that any time soon. I can't afford to. I think only one of you will truly understand why that is.
Therefore I will continue on as I am, as best I can. But I beg your indulgence should I seem distant, uncaring or irritable. I'll catch up with myself sooner or later, but just now my body and my mind are running different races.
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The good news is that they're finished now, and I had my showcase onFriday. Everything went well, and I'm looking forward to seeing my favourite Brissy SG kids again - and perhaps if you're feeling distant, uncaring or irratible (all things I've been myself up until a few days ago), maybe I can cheer you up with a hug and a back rub and a catch up.
I will be at the next dinner to do all of these things!
Hang in there. Perhaps we should organise a day trip when you're free? Get some sunshine, have a picnic, do a hike. I've been talking about a Mt Barney trip for yonks. What do you say?
Every week or fortnight or so, I feel something akin to a "reset". It just sort of happens mentally. Any issues that were building up in my head disappear, and I start again, and reload all of the projects, one by one. It's not productive but it does prevent the situation you're in.