rook

I don't like being single. I've had to face this fact about myself. I used to be fine with being alone and I used to frown upon anyone that wasn't happy without a partner (here's looking at you , Mum). But at some point in the last half-decade or so, something in me has changed and I'm not the emotional cripple (yes, I have been called that to my face) I used to be. So now, although I'm happy enough being me and, for the vast majority of the time, I love my life, I'm not happy with the singledom situation.

To complicate the issue, I'm living a lifestyle right now that leaves no, repeat, NO time for a partner. As much as I might like the idea of having a special someone to share my jokes and my writing with, to curl up next to at night and to make coffee for in the morning, that someone would undoubtedly leave me before too long as it's quite hard to justify a relationship wherein you actually start to forget what your partner looks like.

And just because all good things come in threes, I also have the added 'problem' (it's not really such a cross to bear, all things considered) of being at least a little bit in love (or lust) with most of the women I know. Some of whom are single. This makes the idea of bachelorhood even less appealing.

The result of this dangerous cocktail of circumstances is that, during the last two weekends I have made two unwanted and/or inappropriate advances toward members of the fairer sex. I'm not going into details, to save myself and those involved some embarrassment, but suffice it to say that I'm seriously considering confining myself to my room for the duration of the coming weekend. I'd rather not rack up a third strike.

My point in all this is that, if you're a woman and you happen to catch me gazing longingly in your direction (either physically or metaphorically), don't panic, I'm harmless. Just pity me and ignore me and sooner or later I'll wander off and leave you alone.