I've been going round and round with this girl that I've been dating for a few months now. She is a wonderful person and I enjoy her company very much, however I'm not into her enough to commit to a serious relationship. I've made that very clear to her, that we will most likely never get past dating; I've stated the reasons for my lack of interest in her is because she is too sexually promiscuous and our relationship started off based entirely on sex.
I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive here, or if I've really got a valid point. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying as I'm a sexual deviant as well, however I know the difference between starting a good solid relationship and just having fun with someone. She claims that she wants to date me and me alone, however I'm not ready to make my self vulnerable to this girl. I care for her and enjoy my time with her, but I feel that this is all it will ever be. My confusion comes to play with the terms open relationship. Is it possible to have an open relationship and have it last? Can two people have intimate relationships with other people out side of marriage and have it work? Can a couple have a third sexual partner and still build a long term relationship, or am I just not capable of it?
I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive here, or if I've really got a valid point. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying as I'm a sexual deviant as well, however I know the difference between starting a good solid relationship and just having fun with someone. She claims that she wants to date me and me alone, however I'm not ready to make my self vulnerable to this girl. I care for her and enjoy my time with her, but I feel that this is all it will ever be. My confusion comes to play with the terms open relationship. Is it possible to have an open relationship and have it last? Can two people have intimate relationships with other people out side of marriage and have it work? Can a couple have a third sexual partner and still build a long term relationship, or am I just not capable of it?
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raynne:
some people can do it and some people can't... I believe even the people that can and this isn't meant to offend anyone can still encounter problems... I mean I have friends who have an open marriage and I have to wonder if everything always is really happily ever after for them. Maybe it is just my mindset and the fact that I don't like sharing. I remember I had a boyfriend and we decided to experiment with other partners or inviting them into our sex life... afterward I told him I wasn't comfortable... I mean he wasn't cheating or anything... and I was consentual but I view open relationships as just people who don;t want to commit having sex with multiple people... I don't understand how you can commit yourself to someone and want them while wanting 2 or 3 other people or even 1 other person for that matter... like I said it's not for me... for others if you can make it work all the more power to you... like i said not trying to offend anyone... I just don't think I "get it"
sjofn_:
I think you should ask yourself what your so scared of? I'm not into open relationships but if other people are then so be it. I think to have a 3rd party involved would make it very hard trust issues and things to that nature