rokette

I feel like shit. Not like sick shit, but the depressed "everyone hates me" shit. I hate feeling like this. I know I shouldn't, but it just sits there in the back of my mind forever until it just explodes into this fit of misarable shit. I just want to crawl in a hole in die. I mean I'm already alone, right? Might as well. I'm not saying all of this for sympathy, I'm just trying to vent. Anyway, who reads this journal? In highschool I didn't have a lot of friends, but I still had Friends. Some one to call and go have coffee or just talk. Now I'm lucky if my Mom calls me. Pyrate and I are looking into getting a place together. It makes me so nervous, because I Know I'll be alone all the time. Hopefully we'll get a place with cable, at least then I'd have my MTV. I don't have any girlie friends. And it sucks. I lost contact with all my girlie friends from High School, and my friend Mary, who was like a sister to me, went all pentacostal on my ass, and now she's married, popping a baby out next month, and thinks I'm terrible because I cut my hair and have Tattoos. Her husband thinks I am a bad influence. What the fuck? Can I have that for Christmas? Some Girlie friends? Not even really girlie friends, just something. Please.

On a lighter note...if that's possible...I got some more work done on my chest. Not a lot, but the vines are green now, and it doesn't look like a jumbled mess of lines.

I'm still taking Book Reccomendations, Please.