So this is sort of interesting. Tonight I was wandering around trying to think of something pretty do do a photo shoot around and a gay friend of mine called. He was having a bbq of sorts and wanted to see if I was doing anything. I wasn't so I said i would show up. And I did. We ended up sitting around a fire and eating burgers until we got rained on. 75% of the people there decided that was the time to to leave. Which was okay because there where only to straight people there. One was me and the other was the 13 year old sister of one of the gays guys hanging out. Obviously this wasn't really a problem because I have no interest in 13 year old old girls. That would be sick. It was however still kind of odd for a 13 year old girl to be hanging out with a bunch of guys all of which where over 21 even if most are gay. Hrm. Not really the place I would bring my little sister to. If i had one. But that is not the interesting bit. After most of them left the three of us left retreated inside to watch movies. All of ended up on one couch. I sat on the end regular style and my gay friend and his gay friend laid down on the rest of the sofa. And we watched movies. That not to interesting ether. But during said movies gay friend of my gay friend sort of was laying on my lap. Sort of as in there is not much room on the couch so the pillow was half way on me, and so was his head. Let me take a minute to explain something to you about me and my sexuality that you may or may not know about me. The closest way to describe it would be 'pan sexual'. I am comfortable with all genders what ever genital organization they may have. That however does not mean that I am sexual attracted to both men and women. Because I am most deff only sexually attracted to women. Men do nothing for me in that area. I can however get close to a man just like I can a women. My best friend could be someone of any sex. Granted I wont have sex with any sex(only women) I can love any and all. That doesn't mean that I could fall in love with and marry a man. I need something more then just a two people getting along. I need to feel physically connected to a person if i was ever to fall in love with them and want to go the distance. IE I think sex is a vital part of any real relationship I have. But not in the orgasm sort of way. I need the closeness and compatibility that sex with someone you really love brings. I am all for lust, but it wont make me marry you.
So could I love another man for example? Yes. Could I fuck him? Not a chance. Could I make love to him? No. Cock is just gross to me. Sorry guys. Could I marry any gender but a women? I really doubt it. Specifically because of sex. There is no way to get any closer to your lover then you can during sex, apart from maybe giving up a kidney. Which I would do in a second if it would help for pretty much any of my friends btw. So We now know that I am comfortable around guys and girls alike(just not that comfortable). Which brings me back to my story and the interesting bit. Interesting to me at least. This guy not only had his head on my lap but also had his hand resting on my thigh just above the knee. This did not bother me in the least bit. Obviously it wont turn me on with it being a dude n all. But why should I give a fuck if your close to me as long as I feel comfortable about it right? But this hand was not immobile. By the time the second movie ended his hand was about an inch away from this awkward statement.
Dude, knock that shit off. Im fine with you laying on my lap n all but feeling me up is not going to work. You can't turn me gay by watching a good movie with me and trying to play sneaky high school boy and slowly hike for my nuts. Hell you could try to full on molest me and it would not work. Me saying I am straight does not mean grab my balls. Okay thanks.
luckily though as I said the movie ended and I just got up. It was late and time for me to leave anyways. I doubt I have any need to mention it to the guy as I prob wont ever even see him again. But I will ask my gay friend who asked me over about it. Maybe I was mistaken and he thought I was. It would be kind of odd to be the straight guy who is comfortable and have to tell the gay dude to respect my sexuality. haha. So yeah there you have it. I could love you dude. But not like I could a women. I pretty sure that probably just confused a lot of people so ask away if you must.
What an, ughh, thought provoking(?) night.
-roguemind 
