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roguemind

Member Since 2006

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Friday Mar 16, 2007

Mar 15, 2007
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Just in case you oblivious, my writing has a lot of true feelings mixed in with shit that happens to me and then it gets some fake shit sprinkled on top for extra flavor. And just ignore the spoiler. There is only boredom behind it anyways.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I Just noticed today that I am getting older. It happened while I was off taking pictures of a local pier. These to girls where playing around in the sand. I heard one of them say something like "its just some guy" but otherwise i payed them no attention. After a little bit of over exposure and a couple rocks one of the girls, the older, came and said hello. She was wondering if i was going to take picture of their sand art. I told them sure why not. All the while she started talking to me. Nothing special, just the normal first meeting shit. How old are you? Do you have a girlfriend? What do you do? I the dragged on and nothing seemed to work right in my camera. I blame it on the girl. The sun started to set and no one but me noticed because of the overcast weather we have in this part of the country. It got colder and we started to notice that the younger girl, her sister as it turns out, was starting to get really annoyed. Apparently I was stealing her big sister away by being quiet and distant and hardly paying attention to what she was saying. The older sister, her name is irrelevant btw, explained to me that the younger was only twelve and that i should not worry about it. It was then that I noticed I was old. I was twelve years old about five minutes ago. I was happy and young and full of hope. I miss those days. I miss them mostly because I am not sure if they are gone or not. I dont think I ever really grew up. I just got older. These days I get all of the imagination and none of the fun. The dreams and no payoff.




Its 3:05am and I am sitting up in bed. It was the dream again. So strange. I never used to have lucid dreams. But this one is so real that i wake up and I can still smell the fog.

We walked for miles down the coast. Past the piers and the construction at the aquarium. Then the road stops. We are at some sort of park.

God she is beautiful. Dark hair and bright green eyes. Something about her screams intelligence. She is the challenge i need.

Everything is in black and white except for this girl. It is like a surreal photograph or something. The park with its sculptures and unfinished walk ways is buried in a deep fog. There is a breeze that rolls it around in the dim amber lights.

And then she is gone.

I franticly start to run as fast as I can into the fog yelling a name I can never remember. I catch a glimpse of her our of the corner of my eye.

And then I am awake. I can still see her in my head. The scent of the moist air is still in my nostrils. A cold sweat covers my body and my heart tries to beat its way out of my chest.
Gradually the dream fades from my mind, but I never do get back to sleep. I just roll around in the dark and wait for morning. And it comes just as it always does. It is a rude reminder that I am not the center of the universe. The rolling stops and I shower and get ready for work. On my way out I grab a cup of burnt coffee and my jacket. I have no idea how I ever kept breathing during the day before I found my first cup. I live on the stuff now. No days goes by at my desk where you cant find a coffee somewhere behind the paper storm.

I never made it to my car. I blacked out time after I closed my door.



-bloodyGIR robot

PS: Might I talk you out of your pants?

merritt:
I actually liked the spoilered one. I often wonder the same. How would I ever know if I grew up? Is it being able to vote or get drafted or drive or get lowered car insurance premiums? Is it responsibility? Is it profession? Is it caring for another more than caring for oneself? Is it caring for oneself more than caring for fun?

P.S. No, probably not.
Mar 16, 2007

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