Though posted at 6 am I actually wrote this last night on Wordpad and elected not to risk going online and battling for the phone connection with the drug-dealing roommate.
I'm an unselfish person who is leading a relatively selfish life because I have no one to live with. Not literally, as I have four roommates, but I have no one I can really share my life with. * Nobody can truly understand my warped point of view (NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME, now THERE'S a cliche!) and so no one can really get close to me, because I can't really get close to someone I can't relate with. * I shut myself out of social circles. With being social comes expectations of how you should conduct yourself. Otherwise, you're not cool, you're pretentious, and you're shut out. * I don't drink all that much and I don't do drugs, which makes it difficult to make friends here in Vegas because most everyone outside of the diehard Christians expects you to socialize in the content of alcohol and cigarettes and, sometimes, drugs. Every night ends in a bar, at a party, or at someone's house with beer. What ever happened to the childhood days when people just decided to HANG OUT?
This is why I'm anti-social. I'm lonely and want some sort of a life partner, but am not willing to play games or ingest foreign substances just to find one. I am lost. I feel hollow.
So what now? Last time I went to school, becoming imbibed in the theatre department cured me of severe depression, as my mind was focused on something that captured my interest. Will that happen when I return to school? Can Calculus and Economics and Geology erase this empty feeling in me? Is the feeling a result of having no direction and no focus and just having too much time to fret over things?
Will Elaine at Border's go out with me?
Ha ha. That last question was a joke. I suddenly realized I was getting too serious. Nonetheless, points to ponder.
I'm an unselfish person who is leading a relatively selfish life because I have no one to live with. Not literally, as I have four roommates, but I have no one I can really share my life with. * Nobody can truly understand my warped point of view (NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME, now THERE'S a cliche!) and so no one can really get close to me, because I can't really get close to someone I can't relate with. * I shut myself out of social circles. With being social comes expectations of how you should conduct yourself. Otherwise, you're not cool, you're pretentious, and you're shut out. * I don't drink all that much and I don't do drugs, which makes it difficult to make friends here in Vegas because most everyone outside of the diehard Christians expects you to socialize in the content of alcohol and cigarettes and, sometimes, drugs. Every night ends in a bar, at a party, or at someone's house with beer. What ever happened to the childhood days when people just decided to HANG OUT?
This is why I'm anti-social. I'm lonely and want some sort of a life partner, but am not willing to play games or ingest foreign substances just to find one. I am lost. I feel hollow.
So what now? Last time I went to school, becoming imbibed in the theatre department cured me of severe depression, as my mind was focused on something that captured my interest. Will that happen when I return to school? Can Calculus and Economics and Geology erase this empty feeling in me? Is the feeling a result of having no direction and no focus and just having too much time to fret over things?
Will Elaine at Border's go out with me?
Ha ha. That last question was a joke. I suddenly realized I was getting too serious. Nonetheless, points to ponder.