roddly

well ok. i know i'm not the catch of the day. nor am i the kinda guy you dream about at night. but i thought there was something to me. until about a month or so ago. when i started tryin to go out again. then i got stood up. shame on me. then i tried again. and i got stood up again. shame on you. then i tried over and over again. this is the 5ht time in a month i've been stod up. 0 and 5. not a very good record. i'm so pissed off. and depressed. i don't wnat to be alone. it's not the holidays. and it's not the other bullshit. it's i'm lonely, andi have no one to "confide" in. no one tocome home to. sure i come home, and there are people here. but i'm not gonna lay donw and cuddle with one of the other guys. tha't snot really my bag, or box for that matter. i want someone to share this life with. not someone to share the bills with. i can't even go out on friday nights, and jsut play pool with out bein looked at like i jsut asked everyon in the room to bend over and let me stick this here red hot poker up their asses.
i didn't start moving today like is hould have. i was so jazzeed up abou tthis date that i stayed on task for about 2.8 seconds. then i was off on a tangent. so i got nothing accomplished. and i'm sitting here at 8:50 on a fucking saturday night, typin about how sad i am. this is what i have become. iwas a nerd before. i'm just a loser now. jesuis what is wrong with me. i gotta go before subliminal messages tell me to hang myself on the radio waves that this moputer is sending out.