rodbrit39

Woke up this morning and gave myself a strict order: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with life!

So that's what I am doing.

First priority: Find some TLC

I've just had a giant portion of irony; especially considering all this crap I've been writing about finding it difficult to give my heart to someone. Well it now seems it's not much of an heart worth giving. According to the doc I have an irregular heart beat and have to do something about it pretty quick. Expletive deleted.





Update on the panic attack above:...
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Sunday seems like a good day to reflect on my emotions...or perhaps their shortcomings

This being able to love but not fall in love concerns me somewhat. I am certainly not a cold person by nature and I think I am capable of giving g a lot of myself without ncessarily seeking a return on that investment. But total commitment scares me for some reason....
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After my new girl's use of the dreaded word love last night I decided to make a serious decision...and it was with predictable consequences.

I find it very easy to show love to people, but that's a whole lot different from being 'in love'. It seemed only fair to point this out. As I expected, this wasn't what she wanted to hear. But to say...
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OK I've had my surprise and I've just come up for breath. Un-fucking-believable! Sadly I'm under orders not to reveal details. If I do she says it'll never happen again..and that's not acceptable. Sorry.
All I can say is that this little boy has a smile from ear to ear.

But there's more, and I'm shall not tell her I've told you this, OK?

She...
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A certain somebody has promised me something rather special tomorrow night.

Normally I hold back from too much anticipation, a sort of insurance policy against disappointment. But I have to say
my mind has been worki ng overtime ever since the promise was made earlier tonight.

I'm not at liberty to give details in advance...but I may share afterwards if I'm allowed and anyone is...
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Here's a challenge to all my friends:

Who can come up with the best picture of themselves to celebrate the Olympic Games in Greece?

Remember in the first games everyone performed naked.

I think it would make a great set for someone.

Just taken new girl home..she starts work early.

Time now for my bi-monthly angst about relationships, or maybe it's even more frequently than that.

These introspective sessions seem to measure equally with 'what's the meaning of life' quests that crop up now and then.

I never seem to arrive at any sensible conclusions, just more confusion.

Perhaps I'd better ponder alone for a while and...
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Sorry about my wild accusation in the last journal entry. Of course you're not all mad.
Anyway maybe flygirl was right, perhaps you're all sane and I'm the mad one.

Mad or not I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself after a great night in with my new girl. Best of all we laugh at the same things. In my book that's an imperative for any...
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The whole world is mad and I'm the only sane person in it. Which makes me very lonely sometimes. I think I must undo a few screws and join the party.