I formally give notice: I am thinking of emigrating to the USA, getting citizenship, then running for President as soon as I can.
This is on the advice of many of my close friends who think, as a prime dickhead, I stand a good chance of winning. I am curreently working on my manefesto which I will publish here soon. Please send me your electoral wish list asap. In the meantime I've signed up for an advanced lying course and am checking on the price of plastic surgery in order to have my arse put where my mouth isThat will, of course, make it easier to speak my mind and for you to lick my arse when you bid for top jobs in my administration.
Anyone who fancies being my campaign manager please forward your CV's.
Just to wet yout appetite, heer are a few priorities for my first year in office:
SG's will never pay tax again
There will be a heavy tax on wearing clothes in public places, apart from in very cold weather
An even heavier tax, or perhaps fine, will be imposed on any
person suggesting we wage war against another country unless they shoot first.
Every Monday will be a public holiday
Anyone can marry who or what they like
Etc, etc, etc
Update:
I will leave the above posted a while longer because I guess most of you are only just waking up to reality. But I just wanted to pass on some good news. I was concerned that a very, very dear friend was in real trouble or serioulsy ill. Well I've now discovered I was worrying for nothing. She's just stepped into one of life's normal shit pools and is having a little trouble getting out and cleaning her self off. But she'll make it, and anyway she has my love to help her if she needs it. I love you K.
This is on the advice of many of my close friends who think, as a prime dickhead, I stand a good chance of winning. I am curreently working on my manefesto which I will publish here soon. Please send me your electoral wish list asap. In the meantime I've signed up for an advanced lying course and am checking on the price of plastic surgery in order to have my arse put where my mouth isThat will, of course, make it easier to speak my mind and for you to lick my arse when you bid for top jobs in my administration.
Anyone who fancies being my campaign manager please forward your CV's.
Just to wet yout appetite, heer are a few priorities for my first year in office:
SG's will never pay tax again
There will be a heavy tax on wearing clothes in public places, apart from in very cold weather
An even heavier tax, or perhaps fine, will be imposed on any
person suggesting we wage war against another country unless they shoot first.
Every Monday will be a public holiday
Anyone can marry who or what they like
Etc, etc, etc
Update:
I will leave the above posted a while longer because I guess most of you are only just waking up to reality. But I just wanted to pass on some good news. I was concerned that a very, very dear friend was in real trouble or serioulsy ill. Well I've now discovered I was worrying for nothing. She's just stepped into one of life's normal shit pools and is having a little trouble getting out and cleaning her self off. But she'll make it, and anyway she has my love to help her if she needs it. I love you K.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
thanks!