An ex girlfriend and her new husband are taking me to lunch today. I've got on so much better with her ever since we stopped living together. It's great that we can now laugh at the conflicts we had while living under the same roof. And I like her husband too. I think it's important to keep former relationships in perspective and try not to put all the blame on the other person for failure. I've noticed how often a person's worst characterstics come to the fore with one person and their best with another. I don't think there's any magic fomula for cohabitation....luck plays a large part. How many people do you know who seem to be genuinely in love yet fight nearly all the time? The greater the passion he greater the confrontation. It's especially the case for those with strong personalities.
Sharing a life with another person is so much about compromise and accommodating the needs are desires of one's partner. I think for a relationship to survive there has to be considerable alteration to one's own aspirations, individuality and outlook. Unless, of course, one can find one's exact duplicate. Maybe it's best never to think of a relationship as being forever. Enjoy it while it's good but never concede to total dependency.
Discuss
Update: Lunch was good. It was also good to see that my ex is really happy in her new relationship. He's a decent mature guy too.
I especially enjoyed the opccasional wink he gave me when my ex was being a little OTT on some issues. The winks clearly said " You know what she's like as much as I do."
I desperately wanted to tell him that it was also that extravert quality in her that eccited me. But I didn't, neither did I tell him that when he went for a pee my ex leaned over a kissed me fondly on the cheek and said "I still miss you a lot sometimes." To which I replied " Ditto".
But we both know that was another life.
It did, however, start me wondering again whether this is going to be the whole story of my life. Just a bucketful of memories with no one special holding my hand while I'm dying to also say "I'm going to miss you."
Sharing a life with another person is so much about compromise and accommodating the needs are desires of one's partner. I think for a relationship to survive there has to be considerable alteration to one's own aspirations, individuality and outlook. Unless, of course, one can find one's exact duplicate. Maybe it's best never to think of a relationship as being forever. Enjoy it while it's good but never concede to total dependency.
Discuss
Update: Lunch was good. It was also good to see that my ex is really happy in her new relationship. He's a decent mature guy too.
I especially enjoyed the opccasional wink he gave me when my ex was being a little OTT on some issues. The winks clearly said " You know what she's like as much as I do."
I desperately wanted to tell him that it was also that extravert quality in her that eccited me. But I didn't, neither did I tell him that when he went for a pee my ex leaned over a kissed me fondly on the cheek and said "I still miss you a lot sometimes." To which I replied " Ditto".
But we both know that was another life.
It did, however, start me wondering again whether this is going to be the whole story of my life. Just a bucketful of memories with no one special holding my hand while I'm dying to also say "I'm going to miss you."
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Here's a different one:
I know what my heart is like
Since your love died
It is like a hollow ledge
Holding a pool
A little tepid pool
Drying slowly inward from the edge