rodbrit39

Sunday seems like a good day to reflect on my emotions...or perhaps their shortcomings

This being able to love but not fall in love concerns me somewhat. I am certainly not a cold person by nature and I think I am capable of giving g a lot of myself without ncessarily seeking a return on that investment. But total commitment scares me for some reason.

A close friend suggested this was a form of cowardice. The fear of having my heart broken again. I say again because that did happen once a long time ago. I am certain I was 'in love' with that person as much as anyone could be. Sadly it was at a time when my work took me away a lot and my partner seemed to find the loneliness too much to cope with. Inevtibaly, I suppose, someone else was on hand to give the face to face devotion she required.

But at the time I was not so reasonable in assessing the break up and my heart dropped into deep freeze. And I guess it's been fairly chilly ever since.

Whether or not it's now past its sell by date or too solid to defrost I just don't know.

I would like to think there's still hope for me.

Frienships and merely physical relationships are fine, but there's always that something missing.

My problem these days I trying to remember exactly what that missing something is.