rockoval

I want to write about my mixed feelings about religion in this blog. For about a year, I have been on a long slide from being a christian to being somewhat agnostic. It's funny how you can change so much. There are several reasons for my fall from grace. First is my love of science. Much of mainstream archeology, astronomy, biology, geology and many other sciences discount the biblical account of creation, yet many of my friends take Genesis literally. Every time I hear someone say "radioisotope dating isn't accurate" I want to bang my head against the wall!

Science isn't the main reason for my lapse though, the problem of evil is. Last year, so much went wrong in my family, my sister got pregnant (again), and the father started stalking her. Though everything seemed to go wrong, I know that my family and I are the lucky ones. So much goes wrong in the world: starvation, war, torture, genocide and that's what makes me doubt God. If God knew in advance the horrors that man would create, would not it have been better not to create him at all? If he didn't know is he not omniscient? It is these things that make me think that the version of God found in the Bible is self-contradictory.

Then why do I still play on the worship team at my church? It's because a false hope is better than no hope at all. People come up to me afterward and say things like "Your playing really helped me worship and feel closer to God." It just makes me feel all warm, like I am helping people in a small way. Though religion has caused some horrible things to happen, it also has great benefits to a great many people. That we truly return to dust, and that all we do is in vain, is not something many people can accept. So let the masses have their opium! Otherwise, life can be too painful.