rockoblm

Well the gig is done. I thought it went like shit until I saw the video...there were the minor fuck up, but nothing too big. There really wasn't that many people there, and I think I was used to having more people screaming at us. Oh well. I'm in one of those moods where i don't want to think about anything. One thing that is on my mind is my friend, who's dad just shot himself in the head. How fucked up that is... If that was we, I would be pissed. I wouldn't be sad, for a few reasons. First off, I would be pissed to know that my dad was so weak he ended himself. (Sorry for this veiw but "giving up" is not an option to me). Second, I would be pissed cause he didn't seek me out for help or understanding. Last, I would be pissed cause his misery is more important to him than his own child. I've had many people in my life try to off themselves so I know exactly what its like to lose or almost lose them to suicide. My girlfriend, three of my best friends, a friend from high school, and ... I've got stories for days. One of my friends who went through this explained it like this: " They have so much pain and sadness, that they don't see a way out or any relief from it besides offing themselves." In my opinion its a little more one sided than that, and I know people will give me crap for this but this is just how I see it: People kill themselves cause they want attention, are high or drunk, lazy and stupid, or just playing and they go to far. Here's my list Jeremy wanted attention, James was drunk (lived), R was drunk (lived), Beth wanted attention and was high (lived), Derek was high and went too far (didn't live). And then you have everyone's favorite suicide case, Kurt Cobain. What a joke he was...he was high. We worship the work of a junky only after he is dead. And honestly his music wasn't really all that great. Dave Grohl and Foo Fighters have had more #1 hits in less time than Nirvana ever did. Granted its Pop music, but its still more appitizing to the general public than Nirvana. And whats with Nirvana being the bringers of the Grunge revolution...what about everyone at Sub Pop (Mudhoney, Mother Love Bone), Alice In Chains, Soundgarden and Pearl Jam? Oh well fuck it all! I'm in a bad mood now....