rockoblm

I'm fucking cracking up. I swear, I'm just losing it. Last night I lashed out at a friend, and now I feel like shit about it. She was just trying to give me some advice about my dating skills and I didn't find it amusing. The thing that sucks is I have every right to be defensive about how people treat me and interact with me, but for some reason I still feel like crap for doing so. I have a few lines which I hate to have crossed and one of those lines is draw right next to lecturing me about my standards in woman and the reasons why I lack certain dating skills. I know I have high standards and I know I suck at interacting with women, and so I don't need someone to tell me about this. It gets me into that space where I just want to yell out, "who the fuck do you think you are", but on the same hand I know that these people are just looking out for my well being and I should appreciate the fact that people are concerned with me. Oh why does interacting with people have to be so complicated? My journal is turning into my bitch corner, I understand. Everytime someone comes to read this I bet they say, "God, what a miserable fuck this guy is." Fact is, its probably true that I am miserable. All I'm looking for is someone who loves being with me and will take me for who I am, and hopefully are able to put up with that. Of course on the other hand I wouldn't be worried too much with what I want and more about what other people might want from me, or how I can make other people happy. Its that fine line that is hard to balance on, cause I want to be caring and giving to eveyone I meet, but at the same time I don't want to be stepped on for doing so. Sheesh, who knows huh? I think I'm gonna go to the driving range and hit some balls to releave some of this stress.