rocketeer

Life continues on its ups and downs.

Last night i went out to watch some football and to just imagine nothing was happening, imagine i was free of the emotional torment i am enduring.

I told my mother the other day, fighting back tears i told her. Noone had ever heard what i told her, where i was, how low i was, noone. Now she knows, i let it out, let most of it out, but in my mind the most painful remains.

Mindgames suck and i hate her for that, she ruined me once, again she won't. Encounters with her more probable then not. Strength i need to pass this test. It is coming, i hate it, i am ready, i am scared.

Thankyou to the strange girl last night, the girl who made me smile. Quiet and lonely, at the bar i was, a compliment she gave, it made me smile. Thankyou for being so kind to try and make me happy, you made my night.

Reflective thoughts in times of doubt. Emotions are smothering, feelings hurt. I don't want out, i simply want off, my head to be clear my only request. Life is strange, incredible, a test, i will beat this, i must beat this, i can, i will, the time will come, this pain will go, this i know.