today i am wearing a skirt by the brand 'onetuff babe.' which is funny, even if only because i dont recently feel that way. im more displaced than usual lately. it feels like ive been living three different lives, and none of them connect anywhere. if i spend too long in one spot or with one person, its hard to remember what is real, and where im actually supposed to be.. if thats anywhere. does anyone else understand this? two specific people have pretty much dropped off the face of the planet within the past week and a half. things seemed akward without them, however im now at the point where it seems like im not even waiting for them to return anymore, just thinking about them as memories. oh the good times back in the day, you know? now im just waiting to see if my moods are really going to hurt someone, or if maybe im pms-ing.
either way.. as groggy as everything is in my head, and as constantly distracted as i may be, im not dissatisfied with what ive got. just confused as to what i want anymore. (dont freak out.. im not moving anywhere... any time soon, at least..) it almost seems like maybe im getting more out of this world living three lives instead of one, eh? however, with barely enough time for everyone in worcester when i only had one life, how many people am i going to be constantly disappointing trying to balance two more? and how long will my head (and my car...) really last?
on a different note. im going to new hampshire with my dad for a few days in august. possibly to pennsylvania with a friend right after. if penn falls through, i might want to try to give a second chance to new york.. considering it tried to kill me last time i visited that might not be a good idea, but... *shrugs* i wanna go. whos down?
either way.. as groggy as everything is in my head, and as constantly distracted as i may be, im not dissatisfied with what ive got. just confused as to what i want anymore. (dont freak out.. im not moving anywhere... any time soon, at least..) it almost seems like maybe im getting more out of this world living three lives instead of one, eh? however, with barely enough time for everyone in worcester when i only had one life, how many people am i going to be constantly disappointing trying to balance two more? and how long will my head (and my car...) really last?
on a different note. im going to new hampshire with my dad for a few days in august. possibly to pennsylvania with a friend right after. if penn falls through, i might want to try to give a second chance to new york.. considering it tried to kill me last time i visited that might not be a good idea, but... *shrugs* i wanna go. whos down?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
bleakronin:
Your journal entry actaully made complete sense. I've been (am still?)in that state more times then I care to count. I just recently lost like half of my friends over an apparent entry I made in livejournal so go figure. Friends I've had for years (a decade+) just opt to leave me because they see me differently now, even though I've been that way for years. You'll be ok...some time away from home will do you good. Take care. ::hugs::
ragdoll:
Aye, as long as it works for you, that is all that matters 
*Hugs* 
*Hugs*