rockabillybaby

If there's anything more demoralizing than trying on bathing suits, someone please tell me what it is.

I came to the conclusion today that we are a failed society. We can cure polio, walk on the moon, and get a pizza to you in less than 30 minutes, but we cannot invent a bathing suit that makes me look decent.

I made Brendan promise me that when I'm on the beach he won't let a team of marine biologists come and try to put me back in the ocean.

(me) + bathing suit =

That is all.