robstradamus

Has anyone seen my ego? Better yet, do I really wanna find it again?!! Is it better to be happy and at peace or "successful"? I lived a great deal of my life being highly competitive and super-fucking-driven, No matter how much success I achieved I was NEVER happy, just on to the next challenge. Yeah, I got a shit-load done but is that what we're really here for? Is it to achieve things that, in the long run, most people won't really give a shit about? Or is it to find ways to enjoy each other and enjoy life? My best friend and my ex girlfriend turned me on to the idea of ego as an enemy and some of the basic ideas behind Buddhism and those ideas resonated with me. These days I do what I do for fun. I still work hard and play hard but I'm not doing it to win, I'm doing it for the love. I try not to take myself at all seriously and rather than argue that my truth is THE truth, I try to find out what the truth really is. And I'm happy
Every once in a while I think about letting the ego back out of it's cage, it really is impressive to see someone drive and compete as if their life (or entire self image) depended on it. It's like a fire that burns white hot. And I do get a shit-load done, but I'm not quite ready to go back there and be that person again. Wonder if I ever will?