robscarlett

I'm getting better. I keep telling myself this each and every day. It's too close to me to actually see the changes but I know they must be there.
I don't like being alone or more to the point being lonely. I feel like a child lost in a store. Everything is so big and open and empty...when I'm with people..it's too crowded and closed in.
I had a pretty good weekend with some friends though. We had a Super Bowl party over my friend Brendon's house. It's a big house and he was very generous. Lot's of food and booze. Small party, like 6 people all guys. We started on Saturday and did some serious damage to some bottles. On Sunday I stepped up and did some more...and surprizingly people thought I was sober.
After the actual game we went to another freinds house to their party. I only went to try to hook up with this girl. I knew she was single and had arranged for her to be at this other party. I've got strings to pull when I need to....I just don't like doing that. She's in a rough situation as far as her ex and her go, she's stuck living in the same places as him and is not allowd to be involved with anyone while she's there. His rule. I guess he even checks her emails and stuff. Scarey.
Well I figured she could use a fun time over her friend's house so I arranged to make sure she got to that party. I also figured we would be swinging by later and I might be able to hook up.
In my dreambrain of "perfect going night" I would have managed to get her into bed, have sex, not see her again AND be okay with doing that...*sigh* But I can't do that to people so we talked.
I had a pretty good time talking with her too. I was surprised. Mostly because she's never really said much around us before.
So it was a good talk and I'm glad we went there. We got there about 11pm and stayed there until 4:30. Drove back to Brendon's and crashed for the night.
We had so much fun we aranaged to set up another party this coming weekend. It's gonna be a smoothie party! See my friends had gotten this really awsome smoothie maker for Xmas one year and it just sat in a box for an entire year unopened. My and my buddy Jer found it and broke it out at a party...and I made some awsome smoothies. So we had a party just for smoothies...and another...
It seems people actually heard stories abotu how fun the parties were and felt let down that they missed them. Note: The smoothies I make are not really that great. I just have a skill at hiding booze in drinks so...ok taste + knocks you on yer ass= Great SMoothie!
Well anyways so we asked to have a smoothie party and Tanja, one of the owners of said smoothie maker and house, said sure. I double checked with Tom, other owner, and he was all for it too. This is going really smoothly...no pun intended.
The more things I can put my mind on the less it weighs down on me. So...this is good. And since I'm doing more things It shows I'm getting better. It shows it so it must be true.
I hope you are all well. Feel free to email me, IM me or even call 860-656-6158. I'd love to hear from...anyone.

Take care. I can't help anyone else right now...I'm working on me.

Remember- "Love is like war. Easy to start, hard to end."-Unknown