For the longest time I was pretty rough on myself.

You know the usual 'I'm unattractive, fat, gross, etc'

I was thinking about it the other day, and realized that back then was pretty destructive.

Luckily I have a few very close friends who had/have set me straight about that. (You know who you are and I <3 you dearly)

There's someone out there for everyone. I typically fall for the girls who are far too self-centered to see the good guy in me, and then beat myself up because 'waaah why don't the like me, must be my looks'.

Well in the end I discovered it's not true. I can say it without sounding vain, I'm a handsome chap. I know this and I certainly appreciate the folks who helped me believe that. Confidence in ones-self is a pretty great thing to have.

Sure, I don't like being on the business end of a camera, but that's just because I'm more at home doing the shooting. But all things considered, I do look good. I'm not everyones cup of tea, I've figured that out, but then not everyone floats my boat either.

I've been single for something like 2+ years now (you stop counting after a while) - honestly, I don't mind it at all. I've had suitors, but nothing that really clicked. Part of me is being picky, but also part of me isn't willing to settle for whoever comes along.

Ideally, I'd want someone who is artistic, tattooed, is happy with life, and someone who compliments me as much as I compliment them (not "hey you're hot", but my plusses enhance hers, her plusses enhance mine kind of deal)

I'm certain she'll come along. In the mean-time, I've long since beaten myself up over who I am. I'm a pretty great guy, and since I've gained my confidence back, it's shining through.

Oh, and Alkaline takes great portraits:



On a side note, I get to do a semi-nude possibly fully nude shoot this weekend. I'm pretty excited because this is an element of photography I haven't gotten to try yet.

If anyone has tips on shooting semi/nudes, feel free to comment, I could use the advice.

For now, my gear list will consist of my Nikon, a 35mm prime, a diffused flash, light stand, wireless flash triggers, a studio reflector, a shoot-thru white umbrella, a silver bounce umrella, a secondary flash, and a couple flash flags. Oh, and a tripod. Sure I won't need that but just in case.

This song made my day:



And <3 Alkaline for posting this for me today -



Anywho, gonna try this sleep thing, love you all.