robotlola

i'm having a girl moment and i hate it

i am alone with my wine and my cigarettes.

they do little to comfort me. it's too cold to go outside and i hate smoking in my house, but i'm doing it anyway. i just poured another glass of wine. fake wine. arbor mist wine. it's fake and i like it. so save your comments. i'm a fake wine drinker. fine. fine. i'm fine with it. i'm not high class. i drink arbor mist. and i like it.

i wish i was a true french woman and it wasn't all in the last name. being a a bad mood would be considered sexy, my nasty attitude would be an enigmatic turn on and all the boys would look twice as i walked by. i'd have a beautiful apartment in france. the windows would always be open and i'd welcome the world.my wardrobe would would match my feminine level of comfort. always in a dress that swayed perfectly with the wind, knee length, and cute shoes. i would live near the best family owned bakery. they'd know me everytime i came in, ask me about how life was going on in france, if i had made any new friends, and if i missed home. of course i missed home. home is always there. but right now i'm in france. france would chase all my bad dreams away. i'd meet asshole guy after asshole guy and eventually become a coked out french model with no love in her life, an empty apartment, living off day old "fresh" bread from my friends down the street.

fantasies suck.